Wednesday, January 7, 2009

8 Million Stories, NY Press Essay

http://www.nypress.com/article-19234-8-million-stories-nearing-de-niro.html

Nearing De Niro

LISA LEWIS big-screen dreams were just a seat away



That night I sat next to a man who was sitting next to Robert De Niro. I was a reader on the New York studio circuit at $60 a script, with a few hundred reports logged for New Line Cinema and Tribeca Productions, De Niro’s company. After two years covering chick lit and Harry Potter cribs, I was freed from the stacks for a screening of the boss man’s cerebral CIA drama, The Good Shepard. The near final cut was running long and they wanted feedback. I made a rushed introduction to De Niro—after all, my position didn’t warrant time with the stars, my big film contacts were the messenger guys who dropped off scripts at my shoebox apartment in the East Village.

For 12 hours a day I read. Mostly at the coffee shop, Café Pick Me Up, which I liked because emotionally needy and attractive screenwriters, having glimpsed my coverage template, would think I was important and ask for my number. At 24, this felt like the good life, but I was a peripheral part of the action—a bump up from sushi runs at Focus where I interned during school. But being at the screening was surreal. This is what I had come to New York for, what it was all about. Next to me, the man next to De Niro started snoring. He was a big guy in an Adidas tracksuit, wearing sunglasses in the dark theatre. We were two hours into a cut that was at least three and a half. I loved every minute.

When the film ended I wasn’t invited out for drinks. I whispered congrats as I squeezed passed De Niro’s producing partner. The next day an assistant would call for my opinions. Still, it was heady. Graduating high school in the Chicago suburbs with no money for college, I’d telemarketed magazine subscriptions and worked in the pornography section of the Virgin Megastore, carding teenagers and making uninformed suggestions to Japanese tourists (“Yes, Angry Anal has gotten great reviews!”), This was my Mary Tyler Moore Moment. I was going to make it after all.

Tribeca had a silence unlike other neighborhoods. Jazz filled an alley when the door of a club burst open; I caught a staccato laugh and the sound of heels on cobblestone, the squeal of a subway under the grates. The night felt like one frame of a silent film. I was all mood and ego. In the neon of a dim sum dive I plotted the story for my Midwest friends—exaggerating my influence on the editing process, lingering on De Niro’s big hand in mine. The vendors along Mott Street were dumping the spoiled fish that hadn’t sold, but I wasn’t ready to let reality in.

I was halfway home when I checked the messages on my cell. The Weinstein Company had called to say they could use me as a reader. A friend at the ad agency where I was bringing semi-colons back as a freelance proofreader was inviting me to a Broadway show. I pictured my 18-year-old self, bitterly arranging Vivid titles in order of hardcorishness and I wanted her to hear these messages. My New York life may have fit in a shoebox, but the shoes were second-hand Marc Jacobs.
The final message stopped me mid-jaywalk and was nearly drowned out by a policeman screaming at me to get out of the street. But the sound of a cop car, sirens wailing, had nothing on my mother’s voice. Irate and accusatory, it flashed me back to the hallway outside her bedroom; I was 10-years-old again.
“Your father says he’s going to starve himself to death. You need to do something!” she shrieked. “Why aren’t you picking up? Someone just stole $14,000 out of my purse! Call me back!”

I imagined a marquee with my name on it, the lights fizzling out.

Generally, I limited my drama to the silver screen, but crisis was unremarkable for my divorced and single parents. As their only child, I played confidant to my father’s troubled hero, and the audience for my mother’s one-woman show. In my own life story they frequently upstaged me. My dad was beginning a two-year bout of severe depression; soon he’d be living in a delivery van with the 400 classic movies on VHS he’d taped off the television and labeled in alphabetical order by actor. The $14,000 was my mom’s gambling money she’d put in a Ziploc bag with her makeup and left in a locker at the Harrah’s Casino spa. I might have wanted to share my triumphs, but my father had taken to crying through our conversations and my mother’s enthusiasm for her own endeavors, most recently her witty Match.com profile, often overshadowed my news.

I felt a wave of self-pity. New York, like my folks, had the ability to make me feel simultaneously very important and totally insignificant. I could believe that just by living in the city I was doing something urgent and meaningful. I saw my reflection in every window, a seductive, solipsistic filmstrip; but to anyone else I was just an extra.

The Statue of Liberty might as well have read: “Give me your actors, your writers, your neurotic children of manic-depressive and borderline parents yearning to breathe free.” In New York I’d hoped to find recognition, but in the shadow of my family, I couldn’t see myself. That night I turned off the phone, but the guilt remained. Someday I longed to sleep as soundly as the man sitting next to Robert De Niro.

228 comments:

1 – 200 of 228   Newer›   Newest»
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Scaredy Cat said...

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I'm working on it. Article coming out in Elle in June.

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スタービーチ said...

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スタービーチ said...

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モバゲー said...

モバゲーより遊べるスタービーチ!ここで自分好みの女の子を探してGETしちゃおう

スタービーチ said...

新しくなったスタービーチは新しいであいのカタチを提案します★ あなたに出逢いたい人がここにいます

友達 said...

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モバゲー said...

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モテる度チェッカー said...

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セフレ said...

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出会い said...

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スタービーチ said...

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エッチ度チェッカー said...

合コンの必須うアイテムと言えば、エッチ度チェッカーと言うぐらいの知名度です。エッチ度をチェックして、気になる娘と親しくなるチャンスをつかもう。奥手の方でもその日の内にお持ち帰り出来るように、診断結果にはアドバイスも

スタービーチ said...

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さいきん、お仕事が said...

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スタビ said...

いつでもであい放題&即逢いOK!スタビで暇な時間にであいを探そう!!であいが今までなかった人も当サイト、スタービーチなら簡単検索機能であなたの理想の方と出会えちゃう!?簡単登録で今すぐご利用いただけます

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチが完全リニューアルして復活しました!!あの伝説級の出会い系サイトが満を持して再降臨。煌めくような今この瞬間にあなたの胸にもときめきをお届けします

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モバゲー said...

誰でも知ってるモバゲーは人気SNS!当然出合いを求めてる人も多い!そこで男女が出合えるコミュニティーが誕生!ここで友達、恋人が簡単にできちゃいますよ

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友達 said...

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モバゲー said...

モバゲーで探せるご近所掲示板で簡単であい!ゲーム攻略やおススメ小説情報もここでGET!ここでしか見れない裏技も公開中

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチは誰にもでも幸福をもたらしてくれる。ここでだからこそ見つかるであいはきっと一生の思い出に変わります…そんな体験をあなたに。思う存分スタビをご堪能してください

玉の輿度チェッカー said...

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NHKマイルカップ said...

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スタービーチ said...

一時代を築いたスタービーチは閉鎖になってしまいましたが、もう一度楽しい思いをしたい、もう一度遊びたいと思う有志により再度復活しました。本家以上に簡単に会えて楽しい思いを約束します

NHKマイルC said...

NHKマイルC 2010 予想、オッズ、厳選買い目は?今年の狙うべきポイントを限定公開!

友達 said...

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モバゲー said...

日本最大、モバゲーより面白いであい系スタービーチがついに復活、進化を遂げた新生スタビをやってみませんか?趣味の合う理想のパートナー探しの手助け、合コンパーティー等も随時開催しています。楽しかった頃のスタビで遊んでみよう

スタービーチ said...

ついに帰ってきたドキドキスタービーチで素敵な恋をGETしよう♪会員数も50万人突破で以前よりも直ぐに理想の相手にであえちゃう!!恋人募集中!!友達仲間を増やしたい方必見!!素敵なであいをお楽しみ下さい☆

Hチェッカー said...

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ツイッター said...

今話題のツイッター、mixiやモバゲーなんか目じゃない。規制が無いに等しいから、今がチャンスなんです!!ホンマ体力が持たない位の入れ喰い状態が続いて、ツイッターを放置してた事を後悔してます

ヴィクトリアマイル 2010 said...

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ヴィクトリアマイル said...

ヴィクトリアマイル 2010 予想、オッズ、厳選買い目は?今年の波乱をズバリ!確勝買い目公開中!大穴狙いのギャンブラー必見激アツ情報

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モバゲータウンでであいを求めているなら当サイトへ!当コミュニティサイトは本家のモバゲータウンよりはるかにであいやすい、まさにユーザー様の為のサイトとなっております。であいをお楽しみください

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オークス said...

オークス 2010 予想 オッズ 出走馬 枠順で厳選買い目は?今年の波乱をズバリ!確勝買い目公開中!優駿牝馬はこれでもらったも同然

オークス 2010 said...

オークス 2010 予想 オッズ 出走馬 枠順で万馬券も夢じゃない?人気が平然と馬券に絡む理由とは!?今年の優駿牝馬は荒れるのか

友達 said...

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トゥイッター said...

最近、話題のトゥイッターから始まる理想の関係…理想の恋をこの場で見つけていきませんか

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチは誰にでも出逢いという奇跡をもたらしてくれる。スタビで理想の関係作りしてみませんか

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名言チェッカー said...

自分の名言を一つは残しませんか、しかし考えると意外と難しい。そんな時に名言チェッカーならあなたの本当の性格を見抜けちゃいます。世界の偉人達が残した名言にはどことなく重みがあるものです

日本ダービー said...

第77回 日本ダービー 2010 予想、オッズ、厳選買い目は?今年の波乱をズバリ!確勝買い目公開中!結果を出す前に結果がまるわかり

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチから始まる新たな恋をしませんか?スタビ掲示板を利用して新たな恋をしていきましょう

Anonymous said...

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出会い said...

エロセレブとの出会いを完全無料でご提供します。逆援助で高額報酬をゲットしよう

モバゲー said...

モバゲータウンでいろんな異性と交流を深めあいませんか。異性に対して経験がない方でも簡単にお楽しみいただける、シンプルかつ効率的に優れているサイトとなっています

ツイッター said...

全世界で大ブームを巻き起こしているツイッター!!それを利用して今まで経験したことがないような恋を経験してみませんか

モテる度チェッカー said...

モテる度チェッカーが今回リニューアルしました!!今迄と違い診断内容にモテない人と診断された方を救済する、速攻効果が出るモテる為のアドバイスが付きます、またモテる診断された人には、より一層のモテ・テクニックを手に入れませんか

安田記念 said...

第60回 安田記念 2010 予想 オッズ 出走馬 枠順で万馬券をズバリ的中!絶対なるデータが確実に当てるための秘訣

ツイッター said...

今話題のツイッターで理想の関係を築きませんか。ツイッターで自分の出来事をリアルタイムで表現して相手にその想いを伝えましょう

安田記念 said...

第60回 安田記念 2010 予想 オッズから展開と結果をズバリ当てる!出走馬、枠順など全てを考慮にいれた緻密なデータをもとに検証

友達 said...

気楽に遊べる人募集です♪まずはお友達からヨロシクね!! freedum@docomo.ne.jp

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチで素敵な愛を掴みませんか?愛に対する理想や想いを現実にしていきましょう

モバゲー said...

モバゲータウンでは今までとは一味違う出逢いを体験する事ができるのです。これまで良い出逢いがなかった人にはもってこいの無料登録型の掲示板です

ゲーマーチェッカー said...

ゲーマー達のステイタス、ゲーマーチェッカーであなたのゲーマー度数を測定!!測定結果を元に自分と同レベルのオンライン対戦も出来ます。ゲームが得意な人もそうでない人もどちらも楽しめますよ

スタービーチ said...

日本最大級のであいコミュニティ「スタービーチ」で恋人を探しませんか。素敵なであいを経験して理想の人と楽しい思い出を作りましょう

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチが完全リニューアルして復活しました!!あの伝説級のであい系サイトが満を持して再降臨。煌めくような今この瞬間にあなたの胸にもときめきをお届けします

スタービーチ said...

であい系の元祖はやっぱりスタービーチ!初めてであい系にチャレンジする娘も多いここならゲット率は最強

モバゲー said...

モバゲータウンでであいを楽しみませんか。気軽に誰でも楽しめるであいサイトとなっています。こんな事をしてみたいなど希望の事が実現できる、そんなであいコミュニティサイトです

gree said...

greeで楽しめちゃうであい掲示板実現!ここで楽しみませんか?いろんなであいをここで見ていきましょう

Hチェッカー said...

簡単な設問に答えるだけで、自分の隠されたH度数がわかっちゃうHチェッカー!まさかの結果が待ってるかも。気になる人に上手く使えば、即美味しい展開に持ち込めるかも

ツイッター said...

誰もが知ってるツイッターがあなたにであいを!?ツイッター利用者増加=であえる確立急増中!!相性ぴったりの方とお付き合いしてみてはいかがでしょうか

不倫 said...

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宝塚記念 said...

第51回 宝塚記念 2010 予想データを完全攻略!出走馬 枠順などからはじきだすデータは文句なし!これで平成22年の宝塚記念はもらったも同然!波乱の展開もあり

スタビ said...

スタビでの出合いは最高の思い出になる事は間違いありません。運命の人に出逢うまで完全サポートいたしますのでどなたでも気軽に利用する事ができます

SM度チェッカー said...

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宝塚記念 2010 said...

宝塚記念 2010 予想データから完全攻略!出走馬 枠順などからはじきだすデータは最強!これで平成22年の宝塚記念はもらったも同然!波乱の展開もあり

ツイッター said...

ツイッターから始まる人間関係!今話題のツイッターなら新しい出逢いがすぐに見つかります

メル友 said...

全国からメル友募集中の女の子達が、あなたとのであいを待ってるよ!無料エントリーで自由な恋愛を楽しんじゃお

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチがどこのサイトよりも遊べる確率は高いんです。登録無料で新しい恋をGETしてみませんか

出会い said...

出会い系サイトで逆援助生活をしよう!エッチなセレブ女性たちが集まっています

モバゲー said...

モバゲーを使ってご近所さんと知り合えちゃう!新感覚のコミュニティサービスを利用してみよう

玉の輿度チェッカー said...

今の時代簡単に金持ちになる方法は中々無いけど、可能性は誰しも秘めてます!!そう一番手っ取り早いのは玉の輿です。この玉の輿度チェッカーをキッカケに金持ちになった方が、意外と多いのです。是非あなたも一段高みを目指しませんか

出会い said...

一流セレブたちが出会いを求めて集まっています。彼女たちからの逆援助でリッチな生活を楽しみましょう

流出画像 said...

芸能人のプライベートな流出画像など、色々なヤバい写真も見れる。無料登録で思う存分楽しんで下さい

出会い系 said...

セレブの為の出会い系、セレブの雫では女性会員数も増え、男性会員様が不足するという状態となっております。そこで先着順に、男性会員様を募集しております

スタービーチ said...

日本で一番会員数が多いのはやっぱりスタービーチ!若い娘から熟女まで好みのご近所さんがすぐに見つかる☆無料期間中に試してみませんか

出会い said...

お金持ちの女性と出会い、彼女たちとHするだけで謝礼がもらえるサイトをご存じですか?高収入の女性ほど、お金を使っていろいろな男性と遊んでいます

モバゲー said...

流行のモバゲーで友達たくさん!運命の出会いがあるかも!?まだ初めていない人も無料ゲームで遊ぼう

Hチェッカー said...

みんなでワイワイやるならHチェッカー!!これ一つ有れば偶然を装いつつ、気になる人の隠れエッチ度も分ちゃいます。お近づきアドバイスも付いてるから、これを機会に親密になろう

モニター said...

副業 在宅 でも出来る モニターアルバイト 募集!数ある副業の中、馬券モニター程稼げる副業はない!初心者の方でも簡単にできるのが最大の特権です

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチで幸せ掴みませんか?楽しめる出.会.いをしたいならここしかない!今までとは一味もふた味も違う出.会.いを体験していきましょう

逆援助 said...

女の子に逆援助してほしい、女の子と真剣にお付き合いしたい、複数プレイをやってみたい、童貞・処女を卒業したいのなら新感覚コミュニティ・ラブフリーでメル友を探そう

モバゲー said...

大人気モバゲーが遂に出合いの場所に!モバゲーだから気軽に出会える!出合いに縁がなかった方も是非ご利用くださいませ

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチは誰にでも出逢いという奇跡をもたらしてくれる。スタビで理想の関係作りしてみませんか

井の中のカ○ズ君 said...

流行りの検索ワードの番組、井の中のカ○ズ君で紹介された在宅ホスト倶楽部っていうワードで簡単にお金稼ぎました。携帯からgoogle検索にアクセスして在宅ホスト倶楽部って検索してみてください☆男性の方なら家でいるだけで1日2万円ぐらい稼げちゃうから本当に楽ちんだよ。誰か一緒にこの仕事で盛り上がろう

モバゲー said...

モバゲーでは友達から恋愛まで、様々な出 会いを探せる無料のコミュニティサイトです。常時サポートスタッフが掲示板をチェック、サクラや業者を排除しておりますので安心してご利用いただけます

スタービーチ said...

日本最大級の出会いコミュニティ「スタービーチ」で探しませんか。素敵な出会いを経験して理想の人と楽しい思い出を作りましょう

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スタービーチ said...

スタービーチなら好みの女性がきっと見つかる!会員数ナンバーワンのスタビでご近所さんを探そう

スタービーチ said...

日本最大級の出会いコミュニティ「スタービーチ」で探しませんか。素敵な出会いを経験して理想の人と楽しい思い出を作りましょう

モバゲー said...

出会い専門のモバゲーSNSが誕生!メル友、恋人、セフレetc…貴方の理想に合った関係になれちゃいます。素敵な人と過ごしたいならココで見つけてみませんか

スタービーチ said...

最近スタービーチが女の子のコミュニティーサイトで話題中みたい!!夏休み目前ってのもあり登録比率に女性の数が半端ね~、やっぱり夏に一人は辛すぎや~とか思ってたら、暇な娘多すぎ・彼女簡単に出来ちゃった

スタービーチ said...

出 会いを探しているのなら会員数ナンバーワンのスタービーチ!開放的な夏休みはここで新しい出 会いを見つけよう!

グリー said...

グリー発信!!出会い専門SNS誕生、今話題のgreeから出会いをGETしよう。greeにしかできない事が盛りだくさん!!気軽にメールするだけで出会えるサイト・・・貴方の理想の異性と出会いませんか

gree said...

話題のgreeで新しい出会いを見つけよう!夏休みに入ってヒマしてる女の子が急増中!無料期間中にご近所の女の子をGETしちゃおう

セフレ said...

セフレを探しているならここ!割りきった体の関係を探している女性と出会いのチャンス!セックス目的なので会ってすぐにヤれちゃいます

モバゲー said...

モバゲー専門の出会い掲示板が誕生!出会いを求めている方にはオススメのサイトです。幸せな時間を過ごしたい方、淋しい思いをしたくない方はぜひご覧ください

逆援助 said...

逆援助でお金持ちになる事が可能なこの時代。セックスのテクニックさえあれば簡単に大金をゲットする事ができます

スタビ said...

スタビでできる新しい恋・・・素敵な出合いをするならスタビから始めてみませんか?女性に面識のない方でもサポート機能があるから安心してご利用できます。是非一度利用してみて下さい

SM度チェッカー said...

気になる人の性癖を知ることは、その人に近づく良いキッカケや話題作りに成ります。そんな時にSM度チェッカーを使ってみて下さい。話が合い一気に仲良くなり、どのまま・・・な関係にその日の内に為れるよ。なんと言っても今は夏休みですからね

モバゲー said...

モバゲー出会い掲示板は色々な種類の出会いを扱っております。登録無料で新しい恋の始まる事は確実です

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ツイッター said...

今話題沸騰中!?新感覚出会いをツイッターで体験しませんか?リアルタイムで相手が何をしてるか分かるから、理想の人かどうかが簡単に分かる。貴方の理想の人をGETしませんか

mコミュ said...

素敵な出 会 いで愛を育む♪理想の人と楽しめる関係を築きませんか?mコミュでしか味わえない幸せを掴みましょう

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチで会える!?理想の異性をGETしよう☆素敵な出会いばかりだから求めている関係も作りやすい!!貴方が求めているのはどういった恋ですか?

名言チェッカー said...

他の人が言ってる名言や格言って良い事言ってるな~とか思ってる方、名言チェッカーで今日から自分に相応しい言葉を見つけませんか!!これでどんな人にも一目置かれる存在に為れますよ

mixi said...

mixiをも凌駕する出会い率!!出会いをするならここしかない♪mixiより出会えてしまうこのサイト。一度ハマれば辞めれません。スタービーチで素敵な出会いをしちゃいましょう

モバゲー said...

モバゲーで出会いをすれば楽しい事は間違いありません。暑いからこそ出会いを楽しむべきなのです。登録無料で簡単に利用可能!

モバゲータウン said...

モバゲータウンでは恋愛から出合いまでのキッカケをつかめる無料のコミュニティサイトです。常時サポートスタッフが掲示板をチェック、サクラや業者を排除しておりますので安心してご利用いただけます

グリー said...

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スタビ said...

スタビが今一番アツイのはご存じでしょうか?夏休みで出会いを探している娘とすぐに会えちゃうんです。登録無料でここまで出会える所は他には存在しません。今登録して良いパートナーに巡り合おう

スタービーチ said...

出会いのシーズン、夏到来!スタービーチでご近所さんと知り合っちゃおう!ひと夏の体験も女の子は求めている

モバゲー said...

モバゲーでついに出会いができる!?楽しめる出会い、求めていた出会いはココから始まる。素敵な出会いでまずは関係づくりwしていきましょう

gree said...

greeで素敵な時間を過ごしたい・・・そんな願望を叶えてくれるサイト誕生!!今までにないドキドキ感と興奮をこのグリーで楽しみましょう

スタビ said...

スタビで出会いができる!!いつでもどこでも出会いが可能なスタービーチで最高の出会いをしてみませんか

mコミュ said...

簡単な出逢いはココでできる☆素敵な出逢いをmコミュで体験していきませんか?楽しめる出逢いを経験するならここしかない!!まずはお試しを

ツイッター said...

新時代突入!ツイッターで始まる出逢い…ここでしかできない出逢いが新しい風を巻き起こす!!素敵な巡りあわせを体験していこう!

SMチェッカー said...

あなたの秘められたSM度がわかるSMチェッカー!簡単な質問に答えるだけで自分の隠された部分が分かります!みんなで試してみよう

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